You might have noticed how easy it is to lose yourself in our super busy lives, especially once kids come along? The trouble is, when you lose yourself, in other words, disconnect to who you are as an individual, you start losing your powerbase and leaving yourself vulnerable to Life’s challenges. Your degree of resilience, your ability to bounce back, comes from within, from knowing and liking who you are.
Here’s an exercise to play with:
On a piece of paper or whiteboard write “Me” in the middle of the circle and around it start writing who you are. Commonly, women write things like wife, mother, sister, daughter, employee, business owner, friend etc. The thing these all have in common is that they are roles. They are therefore outside of you and dependant on others. When you identify yourself purely by the roles you play, the problem arises when that external role ceases to exist, or becomes less time consuming, who are you?
On the back, draw another circle, this time filling the page, write “Me” in the centre, and this time put down all the things that you personally are e.g. your personality,habits, characteristics, passions, talents etc. If you find yourself writing down a role, put it on the first page, then think about what you are that places you in that role. e.g. Artist = creative, imaginative, free spirited, open minded, experimental, conventiional, artistic. Write those down. Keep going until you can’t fit anymore in.
Your next step is to find as many ways each day to be “Me”, doing those things you love and enjoy, that feel right to you.
This is a great exercise to do with kids too, to help them with their identity, and ability to resist peer pressure.
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